


The Strength in Silence

by unxpctedlygreat (Yurika_Schiffer)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon is a Suggestion, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, Other, reads as platonic but was intented to end up romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24528436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurika_Schiffer/pseuds/unxpctedlygreat
Summary: Felix disappears on the thirteenth day of the Ethereal Moon.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 1
Kudos: 53





	The Strength in Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Of dogs and men](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24523387) by Anonymous. 



> I read one fic, still had my daily writing to do, and this is the result, woops? I haven't finished my Azure Moon playthrough, know nothing of the Black Eagles and only vaguely remember my Verdant Wind playthrough, so really, canon /is/ a suggestion.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Felix disappears on the thirteenth day of the Ethereal Moon.

There is no trace of him anywhere in Garreg Mach and its surrounding area. No clue as to where he has gone, why he has gone. The Archbishop has knights searching for him as she expresses her worries and prays to the Goddess that he is safe, wherever he might be. The house of the Blue Lion celebrates its prince’s birthday and the establishment of Garreg Mach with merriness tainted by worry and sadness. The Duke of Fraldarius is notified at once of his son’s disappearance and it is not hard to see the way the news of it shakes him.

Life goes on nevertheless.

Many things happen in the following weeks and the world comes crashing down around most of them as the Empire leads an attack on the monastery as the new year rolls in. The war tears Fódlan apart for five years.

On the thirtieth of the Verdant Rain Moon, the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus takes over the capital of the Empire and the prince defeats the emperor with the help of the leader of the Leicester Alliance. As they come down from the high of the battle and soldiers start to rejoice and celebrate, Dimitri and Claude are approached by a knight holding a letter.

The missive comes from Hubert, foresighted, and explains all that there is for them to know. The Archbishop has been locked up for five years but she is still alive. The threat of the Empire is gone, but now they are made aware of another foe that might prove harder to drive off. In one of the best guest rooms of the palace in Enbarr is Felix, alive.

Of course, as soon as Dimitri reads the words, he is out of the throne room, Dedue on his tail, leaving his friends and soldiers confused though they do not make a move to follow, likely judging from Claude’s lack of urgency that this is not something they should worry too much about right now.

Dimitri tries every door, every room in the guest wing of the palace. Most are locked but none resists the power of his crest as he forces them open.

He finds him eventually.

He thinks the room is empty, at first glance, but the sound of the wooden door creaking loudly under his grip has Felix look up from where he is curled on the floor behind the bed. The light of the corridor reflects in his eyes, though they look dull and lifeless. Dimitri is by his side as fast as his body allows him.

He finds Felix in Adrestrian clothing, with his hair down and messy and countless scars on the parts of his skin that are on display. He looks at Dimitri and Dimitri knows he recognizes him even if his eyes remain dull. He reaches out, holding out a hand slowly in Felix’s direction and Felix’s gaze remains locked onto his own, unflinching as Dimitri’s hand cups his cheek gently. He leans into it and Dimitri has to fight down the swell of emotions that course through him in that moment.

Dedue moves closer to them, then, and Felix’s gaze finally shifts to look at him, silent still. He merely observes as Dedue stand behind Dimitri, waiting for orders.

When Dimitri speaks, Felix’s eyes fall back onto him.

“Are you hurt?” he asks. He is not referring to the scars scattered on his friend’s body. Felix shakes his head as answer. “Can you walk?”

Felix drops his gaze then, seems to consider his legs and their capacities. He looks back up and shakes his head again.

“May I carry you?” Felix nods.

Dimitri moves, slots his arms behind Felix’s shoulders and under his knees and lifts him up easily. Felix wraps his arms around his neck, steadying himself. He has let his head fall against Dimitri’s shoulder, his eyes lost in the distance. Dimitri suppresses the emotions that threaten to take over him again, looks at Dedue and nods. They leave the room and head back to where their army waits.

When they reach the throne room, Dimitri ignores all the curious looks and whispers and heads straight for his friends. He means to get Mercedes, more than anything, but she has regrouped with the others and Dimitri feels as though the others have a right to know that their friend is alive and safe, too. The group look at him when he nears them and their faces all express the same mix of emotions he has been fighting with. Shock, relief, and worry still.

Felix has lifted his head slightly after Ingrid’s call for Dimitri. He looks at his friends, quiet as he has been since Dimitri found him. Dimitri notices no change in Felix’s expression once they reach the group.

Felix’s silence honestly terrifies him.

But now is not the time, so he pushes his fears aside and asks Mercedes to have a look at Felix. He had said he was not injured, but Dimitri wishes to have the opinion of someone who knows about healing. The others try very hard not to crowd Felix, he can see. Sylvain, Ingrid and Annette particularly look as though they want nothing more than talk to him, fret over him. They are also aware that Felix would not have liked that before, and that Felix now looks much like a shade of himself back then. It is all wrong to all of them, for now. Dimitri hopes this feeling will fade with time. Hopes that Felix will come out of his silence at some point.

When they reach Garreg Mach, ready to rest and celebrate, Felix has still not spoken.

Mercedes comes to Dimitri on the night after they have settled in the monastery, when Dimitri has retreated back to his old dorm room and he knows Felix is safe with Sylvain in the room next to his.

“We may never know exactly what happened to him,” she says. “We may never know what they did to him. This is why… I cannot say for sure that he will speak again. Trauma affects people differently,” she explains, and Dimitri knows this, but the painful tug in his heart dislikes it all the same, “perhaps silence is what he needs to protect himself.”

A week later, Dimitri and Claude lead their armies to face first Those Who Slither In The Dark, then Nemesis and his army. They win, a close thing best orchestrated by the Professor and Claude and Fódlan finally acquaints itself with a semblance of peace. Neither Dimitri, Claude or the Professor are naïve enough to believe there will be no more conflict ever again, but they take this victory for what it is and what it means at the moment.

They all march back to Garreg Mach for more celebrations.

Another week later, the army of Faerghus heads back to Fhirdiad while the men of the Alliance head back east. Felix is still silent.

But he has started reacting more and his eyes shine again. He is different from before, of course, but Dimitri finds himself thinking that Felix is starting to become himself again. He sees him with Sylvain, the two of them pushing and pulling at each other as they did five years before. He sees him with Ingrid at meals, fighting over the meat pieces, the ghost of a smile on Felix’s lips as he successfully steals and bites into the biggest piece of the plate. He sees him listening to Annette as she prattles on and on about any and everything. It is as before and yet so strikingly different.

Dimitri does not dare approach him again, though he watches over him from afar nonetheless. He is not entirely sure what stops him from reaching out to Felix, as he had in the palace. Felix has not rejected him back then and there is little doubt in Dimitri’s mind that he would not either now. But Dimitri cannot bring himself to talk to him.

They arrive in Fhirdiad and are welcomed by Rodrigue who, though still weak from the injury he sustained in Gronder Field, has held the fort in Dimitri’s absence. Dimitri made sure to send note to him that they had found Felix beforehand, so that seeing his son would not shock Rodrigue into illness.

When Rodrigue spots Felix, he discards any pretense about protocol and manners proper for the return of his victorious king. He rushes to Felix and hesitates a moment, during which Felix simply lifts an arm as permission, as invitation. Rodrigue hugs the son he had thought lost to him for five years and though most of their convoy gives them the privacy they deserve, Dimitri cannot look away. Felix hugs his father back and Dimitri can see that his eyes are shining, a little too much to blame it solely on the sun that warms them all that day. None of his tears shed, though Dimitri can tell from the shaking of Rodrigue’s shoulders that his do.

He has warned Rodrigue that Felix does not speak anymore in his letter to him, so Rodrigue is not surprised when Felix only nods or shakes his head in reply. They share another hug before Rodrigue dry his tears and gets his emotions back under control. With one last touch to Felix’s shoulder, he walks back to Dimitri and goes on with the routine required for the return of his king.

It takes another two weeks before Dimitri cannot escape the eventual confrontation with Felix.

He is to be officially crowned King in a week and his nerves and doubts wrack him. It is Felix that comes to find him in his chambers. With Felix in front of him in the doorway, Dimitri cannot just turn away and pretend the other has not reached out when he himself has avoided doing so.

He lets Felix in and closes the door behind him. Felix sits at the table in front of the hearth and Dimitri notices only now that he is holding sheets of paper and a pen.

Felix does not speak, but it does not mean he does not communicate.

That he came prepared to talk makes Dimitri nervous, although differently from before. He does not know what to expect from his childhood friend.

When Felix gestures at him to come sit with him, he does. They are sitting on the floor rather than the fancy armchairs and couches that surround the table but it helps make Dimitri feel a bit more comfortable. It is also something he knows makes Felix more comfortable now, for having seen him favor the floor many times since they had gone to Garreg Mach.

Dimitri does not speak. He does not know what to say but he is also unable to look at Felix. He only glances in his direction when he hears the distinct sound of pen scribbling on paper. He does not see what Felix has written before the paper is thrown at him.

 _You did not turn your back on our people_ , it reads. _I’m proud of you_.

Another sheet is forcefully put into his hands, then.

_You will make a great king._

The sob that racks his way out of his throat is only the first of many. Felix pulls him close and lets him cry, silent yet so loud in his support. Dimitri lets go, finally lets go of everything he has had to keep to himself since Gronder Field, since he had had to step up as the king he is going to be. It amazes him, in a corner of his mind as his tears fall without pause, that even after all this time, even after all this distance between them, Felix is still the one that can make him safely break apart, waiting to pull him back together once the worst of it has gone.

When Dimitri calms down, Felix holds him a little longer than necessary and Dimitri is grateful. When he pulls away, wiping his tears and trying to dry his face, Felix cups his cheeks and brush his thumbs across the wet trails left behind. It nearly sends Dimitri back into a crying spell but he smiles instead, bringing his own hands to cover Felix’s. They stay like this a moment, before Felix takes his hands back.

He turns to write again and Dimitri waits, silent but feeling more peaceful than he has felt in ages. Felix writes for a long time and though Dimitri does not attempt to read the words he can make out from here, he watches him as he hesitates over some words and firmly scribbles some others.

When he is done writing, he hands the paper to Dimitri, his eyes locked onto Dimitri’s face.

Dimitri reads.

His breath catches when he realizes that these are the answers to the questions all of them have but dare not ask. Felix has chosen to confide in him for this. Felix has chosen to tell him his story. Dimitri can only reverently read the words he has been gifted with.

Felix tells him of the treatment he received in Enbarr, a torturous mix of pain and luxuries, meant to break him down or turn him over to their side. They had wanted for him to speak, to spill all and any secret and information he held about the Kingdom, about Dimitri and all they both entailed. Felix had not spoken. Not once. No matter what they did to him, he held his tongue and kept all to himself.

Dimitri is crying again by the time he finishes reading. He moves to hold Felix again but Felix lifts a hand, asking for more time. Dimitri watches as he writes some more, his hand tight on the pen.

The paper reads as such: _I don’t know if I can speak anymore._

Dimitri shakes his head and pulls Felix into another hug, a hand in hair and the other on his back, trying to bring him closer still. Felix hugs him back a little too tight and Dimitri can hear his breathing start to hitch. He buries his face in the crook of Felix’s neck.

“You don’t have to, Felix. It will be alright.”


End file.
